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Thursday, May 29, 2008

A Wife is a wife

A Wife is a wife, no matter who THE

HELL you are!!

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Life ..............

YOU KNOW YOU LIVE IN 200 7 WHEN................


1. You accidentally enter your password on the microwave.

2. You haven't played solitaire with real cards in years.

3. You have a list of 15 phone numbers to reach your family of 3.

4. You e-mail the person who works at the desk next to you.

5. Your reason for not staying in touch with friends and family is that they don't have e-mail addresses.

6. You pull up in your own driveway and use your cell phone to see if anyone is home to help you carry in the groceries.

7. Every commercial on television has a web site at the bottom of the screen.

8. Leaving the house without your cell phone, which you didn't have the first 20 or 30 (or 60) years of your life, is now a cause for panic and you turn around to go and get it.

10. You get up in the morning and go online before getting your coffee.

11. You start tilting your head sideways to smile. : )

12. You're reading this and nodding and laughing.

13. Even worse, you know exactly to whom you are going to forward this message.

14. You are too busy to notice there was no ..9 on this list.

15. You actually scrolled back up to check that there wasn't a ..9 on this list.

AND NOW U R LAUGHING at yourself.

Go on, forward this to your friends ....you know you want to!
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Project Life Cycle.


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50 most romantic things to do with your Girlfriend/Boyfriend

50 most romantic things to do with your Girlfriend/Boyfriend

1. Watch the sunset together.

2. Whisper to each other.

3. Cook for each other.

4. Walk in the rain.

5. Hold hands.

6. Buy gifts for each other.

7. Roses.

8. Find out their favorite cologne/perfume and wear it every time
you're together.

9. Go for a long walk down the beach at midnight.

10. Write poetry for each other

11. Hugs are the universal medicine.

12. Say I love you, only when you mean it and make sure they know you
mean it.

13. Give random gifts of flowers/candy/poetry etc.

14. Tell her that she's the only girl you ever want. Do not lie.

15. Spend every second possible together .

16. Look into each other's eyes.

17. Very lightly push up her chin, look into her eyes, tell her you
love her, and kiss her lightly.

18. When in public, don't flirt with each other.

19. Put love notes in their pockets when they aren't looking.

20. Buy her a ring.

21. Sing to each other.

22. Always hold her around her hips/sides.

23. Take her to dinner and do the dinner for two deal.

24. Spaghetti? (Ever see Lady and the Tramp?)

25. Hold her hand, stare into her eyes, kiss her hand and then put it
over your heart.

26. Dance together.

27. Let your girl fall asleep with her head in your lap.

(It looks real cute)

28. Do cute things like write I love you in a note so that they have
to look in a mirror to read it.

29. Make excuses to call them every 5 minutes

30. Even if you are really busy doing something, go out of your way to
call and say I love you.

31. Call from your vacation spot to tell them you were thinking about
them.

32. Remember your dreams and tell her about them.

33. Always tell her how pretty she looks.

34. Tell each other your most sacred secrets/fears.

35. Be Prince Charming to her parents.(Brownie Points)

36. Brush her hair out of her face for her.

37. Hang out with his/her friends. (more brownie points)

38. Go to church/pray/worship together.

39. Take her to see a romantic movie and remember the parts she liked.

40. Learn from each other and don't make the same mistake twice.

41. Describe the joy you feel just to be with him/her.

42. Make sacrifices for each other.

43. Really love each other, or don't stay together.

44. Let there never be a second during any given day that you aren't
thinking about them, and make sure they know it.

45. Love yourself before you love anyone else.

46. Learn to say sweet things in foreign languages.

47. Dedicate songs to them on the radio.

48. Fall asleep on the phone with each other.

49. Stand up for them when someone talks trash.

50. Never forget the kiss goodnight. And always remember to say,

"Sweet dreams."

~This is a chain letter. It originated in Guyana in the late 1800' s.was

cursed by a indigenous witch doctor. You must send this to 10

people

within the next hour or suffer the consequences of having a

terrible

relationship every year for the next ten years.

Just send it to your friends and you will be blessed with the

ability

to always say the right thing to your

girlfriend/boyfriend and you will always have good

relationships,

because

you will instinctively know what to do. DON'T THROW THIS AWAY!

If you do, the curse will find you.

Good You are now loved by this chain letter!

You have to send this to 5 people in the next 5 minutes....or u

will

have

> > >>>bad luck in love for 5 years! So send away!! If you send to:

> > >>>5 people- You will find the person of your dreams

> > >>>10 people- The person of your dreams will ask u out

> > >>>15 people- U will date that person 4 a long long time

> > >>>20 people- U will marry that person
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Im frustrated with job.......Am joining ashram

Well as I am really frustrated about the job & my life, I am planning to sacrifice my life in serving people & have a peaceful life,



enjoy your life



So kindly stick to ur job stay a happy life,



U can see one of my ashram's member below , who I am going to live with











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Better to leave every job and join Israel ARMY

























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Creative civil engineer

Is there anything wrong with the Building Plan?


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30 real feelings of girls

1. When a girl says she's sad, but she isn't
crying, it means she's crying in her heart.

2. When she ignores you after you've done
something wrong, it's best to give her some
time to cool down before touching her heart
with an apology.

3. A girl can't find anything to hate about the
guy she loves (which is why it is so hard for
her to 'get over him' after the relationship's
over.)

4. If a girl loves a guy, he will always be on
her mind every minute of the day, even
though
she flirts with other guys.

5. When the guy she likes smiles and stares
deep into her eyes, she will melt.

6. A girl likes to hear compliments, but
usually
not sure how to react to them.

7. When a particular guy flirts with a girl very
often, a girl would start thinking the guy likes
her. So if you treat a girl just as a friend, go
easy on the smiles and stare ok?

8. If you don't like a girl who likes you, break
it to her gently.

9. If a girl starts avoiding you after you reject
her, leave her alone for a while. If you still
treat her as a friend, talk to her.

10. Girls enjoy talking about what they feel.
Music, poetry, drawings and writing are ways
of
expressing themselves (which explains why
most girls like writing journals).

11. Never tell a girl that she is useless in
anyway.

12. Being too serious can turn a girl off.

13. When the guy she likes calls her for the
first time, the girl may act uninterested during
the call. But as soon as the phone is back on
the hook, she will whoop with joy and
immediately start telephoning her friends to
spread the news.

14. A smile means a lot to a girl.

15. If you like a girl, try making friends with
her
first. Let her get to know you.

16. If a girl says she can't go out with you
because she has to study, leave.

17. But if she still calls you or expect a call
from
you, stay.

18. Don't try to guess a girl's feelings. Ask
her.....

19. Hearing the words "I love you" is a great
reassurance to a girl that she is beautiful.

20. After a girl falls in love with a guy, she'll
wonder why she never noticed him before.

21. If you need tips on how to flirt with a girl,
read romance stories.

22. When class pictures come out, a girl
would
first check who is standing next to her crush
before actually looking at herself.

23. A girl's ex-crush will always be in her
memory, but the guy she loves now stays in
her heart.

24. Girls love having fun!

25..... A simple 'Hi' can brighten a girl's day.

26. A girl's best friends usually know best
what
she is feeling and going through.

27. Girls hate it when a guy pays attention to
them just to get close to their 'prettier' friend.

28. Love means devotion, caring and
happiness
to a girl, in that order.

29. Some girls care about looks, some care
about brains, but ALL girls want a guy who
will
love and care for them.

30. Girls want nothing more than to feel
loved.
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Secret of Successful Marriage

Once upon a time a married couple celebrated their 25th marriage anniversary. They had become famous in the city for not having a single conflict in their period of 25 years. Local newspaper editors had gathered at the occasion to find out the secret of their well known 'happy going marriage'.



Editor: *' Sir. It's amazingly unbelievable. How did you make this possible?



Husband recalling his old honeymoon days said: ' We had been to Muree for honeymoon after marriage. Having selected the horse riding finally, we both started the ride on different horses. My horse was pretty okay but the horse on which my wife was riding seemed to be a crazy one.



On the way ahead, that horse jumped suddenly, making my wife topple over. Recovering her position from the ground, she patted the horse's back and said 'This is your first time'. She again climbed the horse and continued with the ride. After a while, it happened again. This time she again kept calm and said 'This is your second time' and continued. When the horse dropped her third time, she silently took out the revolver from the purse and shot the horse dead !!



I shouted at my wife: 'What did you do you psycho. You killed the poor

animal. Are you crazy?'



She gave a silent look and said: 'This is your first time!!!'.'



Husband: 'That's it. We are happy ever after.
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Totally Bats

Two bats are going for their midnight feed.

After an hour or so, one bat gets tired of looking and goes home with no blood.

The other bat comes home with blood dripping from its mouth. The first bat says enviously, "Where did you get all that blood from?"

The second bat replies, "Follow me. I`ll show you."

After awhile the second bat leads them to a cave. He says, "You see that wall over there?"

The hungry bat excitedly says, "Yes!"

Other bat says, "I didn't."
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Diamond Covered Mercedes of Prince Waleed










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Six Minutes....This is worth reading...



This is without a doubt one of the nicest good luck forwards I have received.. Hope it works for you -- and me!
You have 6 minutes

There's some mighty fine advice in these words, even if you're not superstitious. This has been sent To you for good luck from the Anthony Robbins organization.. It has been sent around the world ten times so Far.

Do not keep this message.

This must leave your hands in 6 MINUTES. Otherwise you will get a very unpleasant surprise. This is true, even if you are not superstitious, agnostic, or otherwise faith impaired.


ONE. Give people more than they expect and do it cheerfully.

TWO. Marry a man/woman you love to talk to. As you get older, their conversational skills will be as important as any other.

THREE. Don't believe all you hear, spend all you have or sleep all you want.

FOUR. When you say, "I love you," mean it.

FIVE. When you say, "I'm sorry," look the person in the eye.

SIX. Be engaged at least six months before you get married.

SEVEN. Believe in love at first sight.

EIGHT. Never laugh at anyone's dream. People who don't have dreams don't have much.

NINE. Love deeply and passionately. You might get hurt but it's the only way to live life completely.

TEN. In disagreements, fight fairly. No name calling.

ELEVEN. Don't judge people by their relatives.

TWELVE. Talk slowly but think quickly.

THIRTEEN. When someone asks you a question you don't want to answer, smile and ask, "Why do you want to know?"

FOURTEEN. Remember that great love and great achievements involve great risk.

FIFTEEN. Say "God bless you" when you hear someone sneeze.

SIXTEEN. When you lose, don't lose the lesson .

SEVENTEEN. Remember the three R's: Respect for self; Respect for others; and responsibility for all your actions.

EIGHTEEN. Don't let a little dispute injure a great friendship.

NINETEEN. When you realize you've made a mistake, take immediate steps to correct it.

TWENTY. Smile when picking up the phone. The caller will hear it in your voice.

TWENTY-ONE. Spend some time alone.

Now, here's the FUN part!
Send this to at least 5 people and your life will improve.. 1-4 people: Your life will improve slightly.
5-9 people: Your life will improve to your liking.
9-14 people: You will have at least 5 surprises in the next 3 weeks
15 and above: Your life will improve drastically and everything you ever dreamed of will begin to take shape.

A true friend is someone who reaches for your hand and touches your heart.
Do not keep this message


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Very Interesting Soft Ware !!!!!!!!!!!!!

G i rlfriend 5.0 to W i fe 1.0 : )

Dear Tech Support Team:

Last year I upgraded from Girlfriend 5.0 to Wife 1.0.
I soon noticed that the new program, Wife 1.0 installed itself into all other programs and now monitors all other system activities.
Applications such as BachelorNights 10.3, Cricket 5.0, BeerWithBuddies 7.5, and Outings 3.6 no longer runs, crashing the system whenever selected. I can't seem to keep Wife 1.0 in the background while attempting to run my favorite applications.

I'm thinking about going back to Girlfriend 5.0 , but the 'uninstall' doesn't work on Wife 1.0.

Please help!

Thanks,
"A Troubled User"


REPLY:

Dear Troubled User:

This is a very common problem that people complain about.
Many people upgrade from Girlfriend 5.0 to Wife 1.0 , thinking that it is just a Utilities and Entertainment program.
Wife 1.0 is an OPERATING SYSTEM and is designed by its Creator to run EVERYTHING!! !
It is also impossible to delete Wife 1.0 and to return to Girlfriend 5.0.
It is impossible to uninstall, or purge the program files from the system once installed.
You cannot go back to Girlfriend 5.0 because Wife 1.0 is designed not to allow this.
I recommend that you keep Wife1.0 and work on improving the environment.
I suggest installing the background application "Yes Dear" to alleviate software augmentation.
The best course of action is to enter the command C:\APOLOGIZE because ultimately you will have to give the APOLOGIZE command before
the system will return to normal anyway.
Wife 1.0 is a great program, but it tends to be very high maintenance. Wife 1.0 comes with several support programs, such as Clean 2.5, Sweep 3.0, Cook 1.5 and DoLaundry 4.2. However, be very careful how you use these programs. Improper use will cause the system to launch the program NagNag 9.5 . Once this happens, the only way to improve the performance of Wife 1.0 is to purchase additional software. I recommend Sarees 2.1 and Jewellery 5.0

STATUTORY WARNING : DO NOT, under any circumstances, install SecretaryWithShortS kirt 3.3. This application is not supported by Wife 1.0 and will cause irreversible damage to the operating system.

Best of luck,
Tech Support ...

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Marriage Development Life Cycle (MDLC)

You need patience to read through. So, read only when you have enough time with you.




Marriage Development Life Cycle (MDLC)
H ow to get a nice wife!!! - Guide for all the bachelors and advice for all the married people


There are times in a person's life when he needs to take crucial decisions on his own. Marriage is one of them. Believe me, the decision on whom to marry is the most important decision a person will make in his life. After marriage, your wife is the most important person in your life. She can make or break your life. The mere thought of this is very frightening.
Some of the questions that crop up are -

a.. What sort of a girl do I marry?
b.. Will she adjust in my family?
c.. How can I decide on a girl by just meeting her for a few times?
d.. When should I get married?
e.. This is my life. So, I should choose the girl I marry, but then what if I make a mistake? .. so on and so forth.

I will try to address these & many more questions in the following sections.
The Nine Rules of Arranged Marriage

Rule 1 - Magic No. 26,27,28
In an ideal scenario, a girl goes to college at the age of 18. By the time she graduates, goes for her post graduation and/ or works for 1-2 years, she will be about 23- 24. This means that she has spent about 5 years away from her home. In the 5 years period, she would meet many smart guys at college or during her first few years on job. So, in all probability it would be difficult to find a good girl older than 24 yrs. Secondly, in Indian families there is lot of pressure on the girl's to get married by the time they become 24-25.
Statistics says that there is a generation gap after every 5 years. So, in such scenario, one would prefer to marry a girl who is about 3-4 years younger to you. Thus, working backwards, an ideal age for a guy to get married is by 28. Earlier the marriage, the better it is.
Well, as we all know, in the current market scenario, there will never be stability in our career. So, I believe there is no such thing as, "I will marry when I settle down".

Rule 2 - Subset of Marriage-able Girls
At times you hear statements like, "I am not getting the right match, I will look after 3 months, I will find a better match then". Well the truth is otherwise. The subset of unmarried girl looking for a match is fixed. >From this subset, there would be girls who would get married & there would be new girls added who would be looking for a match. The net result is that at any given time, the variety & numbers of marriage-able girls are fixed.

Rule 3 - Competition for Girls
Like all other facets of life, there is lot of competition for good girls . So, if you are looking for a girl who is post graduate, has done her Engg, is working, very beautiful, smart, from a good family etc. etc, just think again. There are other guys who are also looking for similar girls & probably they are better off than you in terms of career, looks personality etc. Given a choice every guy would like to marry Aishwarya Rai. So, set your expectations accordingly.

Rule 4 - Understanding Girls
You would have met a lot of people during your life. As we all know, it's difficult to judge a person based on a few meetings. I am sure you would agree with me that in case of girls it is even more difficult to understand them in a few meetings. I know people who are still trying to understand their wife. ;-).. Understanding your spouse is a life long assignment. So, then how do you select a girl based on a few meeting? This is where you need to take the help of your parents/friends & latest technologies like email/chat to choose your girl.

Rule 5 - Society Expectation
The selection process is tough on every one who is involved in the process. In arranged marriage, involvement of family & society is pretty high. You can't meet a girl 3-4 times & then say no to her. It is bad for her future. So, you should have a good short-listing criterion. Meet only a few girls & be sure what you are looking for. It is for the benefit of everyone involved.

Rule 6 - Marriage Between Equals
Unlike love marriage, in arranged marriage you also marry into the girl's family. In arranged marriages, family support plays a major role in ensuring a successful marriage. This is where the compatibility of social status, family values & caste/religion plays a major role. It's important to note that in case there is a perfect match between the two families, the marriage is destined to succeed.

Rule 7 - Know Yourself
Unlike love marriage, in arranged marriage you first marry a person & then fall in love. So, it's very important that you do a self-assessment on the kind of person you would love. They say, "Opposite attract", while they also say, "Bird of same feather flock together". So, you take a call on what sort of person you like. Take a pen & paper; write down the kind of attributes you are looking for in a girl. Say, she should ideally have the looks of Sonia, the style of Monica, the voice of Sheena, the patience of Rashmi. You will certainly not find the perfect girl , but then you would have a good idea of what you are looking for. The secret here is to set some minimum criteria for selection . Don't forget rule no.3 here.

Rule 8 - Girl's Beauty
A girl's looks attract, but then no one wants to end up marrying a dumb. It is like buying your bike. When you initially buy it, you are crazy about the looks, but later on you love it for its reliability, fuel economy & comfort level. Similarly, a girl's looks are important, but then it should not be the most important criteria. Later on in life, you will get bored of her looks. It is then that her personality & behavior will make all the difference to your marriage . I am sure your parents will be able to advice you a lot better on this topic .

Rule 9 - Taking Advice
As I have mentioned in the next rule, it's very important that the final decision on whom to marry must necessarily be yours. However, don't do the mistake of isolating yourself from the world while planning your marriage. Discuss with your parents & very close friends on this issue. They are your well wishers . Secondly, in such important matters it's necessary that you analyze all possibilities. Remember, I am not suggesting that you follow others' advice, but don't forget to take their advice.

Rule 10 - Own Decision
All said & done, it's your marriage & your life that is at stake. Once you are married, you & your wife are the only persons who will be facing the music. Don't marry a girl just because your parents or friends asked you to do so. After marriage, if things don't work out & you end up saying, "It's because of my friends or my parents that I married you", then your marriage is destined for disaster. If the girl is of your choice, it is you who will be responsible for whatever happens. That's when the marriage works out perfectly. So, ensure that you marry the girl of your choice.

How to approach the selection process?
>From the day, a person decides to get married; the selection process takes a minimum of 3 months. The whole process needs a lot of patience & commitment. The ideal steps to be followed are:
A. Definition Phase
Define the minimum criteria for the kind of life partner you are looking for in terms of education, physical appearance, social status, family values, future career plans. Remember the Rule 3 here.

B. Lead Generation Phase
Place ads in various newspapers, magazines, websites, through friends, family friends, family societies & association etc. You need to exhaust all possible means of getting bio-datas at one go. Remember the Rule 2 here.

C. Short Listing Phase
Based on your selection criteria, short-list the interesting bio-datas. The general process followed for correspondence is as follows:
1. The initiator sends a one page profile of himself/herself.
2. Based on the profile, the receiver sends his/her one page profile along with request for detailed profile, photo, and horoscope.
3. The initiator then sends the requested information along with a request for similar information.
4. The receiver sends similar information.
5. If the bio-data is selected, it is passed over to the next phase.

D. Casual Interaction Phase
Based on short listing, about 7 to 10 bio-datas are taken forwarded to this phase. The next step to follow here is to exchange email/ chat ids. The guy & the girl then interact for 10 - 15 days to try & judge mutual compatibility through email/chat.

E. Family Interaction Phase
Based on the earlier phase, about 5 leads are taken for consideration in this phase. During this phase, the parents get involved & check the background information about the families to find mutual compatibility.

F. Dating Phase
Based on the earlier phase about 3 leads are taken forward to this phase. During this phase, the guy & the girl interact by going out alone for 2-3 times. The guy needs to prepare a set of simple questions like who is your favorite star, what are your hobbies? He needs to use his judgment to analyze the girl based on her responses.

G. The D-day Phase
Finally, the D-day comes when the guy has to select the girl he wants to spend his life with. If the process if followed systematically, there will be no ambiguity in deciding who should be your life partner.
Finally, my dear friends, marriage is all about compromises. In spite of all the planning that you do, there are a lot of uncertainties in a marriage. In fact this is the best part about marriage. Just remember that the person you marry must be of your choice. In such case, there would be no going back for both of you.
A few words of advice: To make your marriage a success; just believe in the age-old virtue , "Never do anything to others that you don't like for
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You will love this Keyboard

WARNING : DONT EVER TRY THIS @ OFFICE ......









YOU CANT CONTROL YOURSELF FROM TRYING THIS ?????


OK..... OPTION GIVEN TO YOUUUUU...
YOU CAN TRY THIS @ UR HOME PC OR LAPTOP :)

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