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Thursday, October 30, 2008

Quality & warrant

A Quality Engineer married an average girl…

After 2 years of tough life with her, finally the Engineer
got angry and sent a note to father-in-law stating that
"YOUR PRODUCT NOT MEETING MY REQUIRMENTS".

The smart father-in-law replies,
"WARRANTY EXPIRED. MANUFACTURER NOT RESPONSIBLE"
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How to say "I Love You" in 100 Languages


English - I love you
Afrikaans - Ek het jou lief
Albanian - Te dua
Arabic - Ana behibak (to male)
Arabic - Ana behibek (to female)
Armenian - Yes kez sirumem
Bambara - M'bi fe
Bengali - Ami tomake bhalobashi (pronounced: Amee toe-ma-kee bhalo-bashee)
Belarusian - Ya tabe kahayu
Bisaya - Nahigugma ako kanimo
Bulgarian - Obicham te
Cambodian - Soro lahn nhee ah
Catalan - T'estimo
Cherokee - Tsi ge yu i
Cheyenne - Ne mohotatse
Chichewa - Ndimakukonda
Chinese
Cantonese - Ngo oiy ney a
Mandarin - Wo ai ni
Comanche - U kamakutu nu
(pronounced oo----ka-ma- koo-too-- ---nu) -- Thx Tony
Corsican - Ti tengu caru (to male)
Cree - Kisakihitin
Creol - Mi aime jou
Croatian - Volim te
Czech - Miluji te
Danish - Jeg Elsker Dig
Dutch - Ik hou van jou
Elvish - Amin mela lle (from The Lord of The Rings, by J.R.R. Tolkien)
Esperanto - Mi amas vin
Estonian - Ma armastan sind
Ethiopian - Afgreki'
Faroese - Eg elski teg
Farsi - Doset daram
Filipino - Mahal kita
Finnish - Mina rakastan sinua
French - Je t'aime, Je t'adore
Frisian - Ik hald fan dy
Gaelic - Ta gra agam ort
Georgian - Mikvarhar
German - Ich liebe dich
Greek - S'agapo
Gujarati - Hoo thunay prem karoo choo
Hiligaynon - Palangga ko ikaw
Hawaiian - Aloha Au Ia `oe
Hebrew
To female - "ani ohev otach" (said by male) "ohevet Otach" (said by female)
To male - "ani ohev otcha" (said by male) "Ohevet ot'cha" (said by female)
Hiligaynon - Guina higugma ko ikaw
Hindi - Hum Tumhe Pyar Karte hae
Hmong - Kuv hlub koj
Hopi - Nu' umi unangwa'ta
Hungarian - Szeretlek
Icelandic - Eg elska tig
Ilonggo - Palangga ko ikaw
Indonesian - Saya cinta padamu
Inuit - Negligevapse
Irish - Taim i' ngra leat
Italian - Ti amo
Japanese - Aishiteru or Anata ga daisuki desu
Kannada - Naanu ninna preetisuttene
Kapampangan - Kaluguran daka
Kiswahili - Nakupenda
Konkani - Tu magel moga cho
Korean - Sarang Heyo or Nanun tangshinul sarang hamnida
Latin - Te amo
Latvian - Es tevi miilu
Lebanese - Bahibak
Lithuanian - Tave myliu
Luxembourgeois - Ech hun dech gaer
Macedonian - Te Sakam
Malay - Saya cintakan mu / Aku cinta padamu
Malayalam - Njan Ninne Premikunnu
Maltese - Inhobbok
Marathi - Me tula prem karto
Mohawk - Kanbhik
Moroccan - Ana moajaba bik
Nahuatl - Ni mits neki
Navaho - Ayor anosh'ni
Ndebele - Niyakutanda
Norwegian
Bokmaal - Jeg elsker deg
Nyonrsk - Eg elskar deg
Pandacan - Syota na kita!!
Pangasinan - Inaru Taka
Papiamento - Mi ta stimabo
Persian - Doo-set daaram
Pig Latin - Iay ovlay ouyay
Polish - Kocham Ciebie
Portuguese - Eu te amo
Romanian - Te iubesc
Russian - Ya tebya liubliu
Scot Gaelic - Tha gra\dh agam ort
Serbian - Volim te
Setswana - Ke a go rata
Sign Language - ,\,,/ (represents position of fingers when signing 'I Love You')
Sindhi - Maa tokhe pyar kendo ahyan
Sioux - Techihhila
Slovak - Lu`bim ta
Slovenian - Ljubim te
Spanish - Te quiero / Te amo
Swahili - Ninapenda wewe
Swedish - Jag alskar dig
Swiss-German - Ich lieb Di
Surinam - Mi lobi joe
Tagalog - Mahal kita
Taiwanese - Wa ga ei li
Tahitian - Ua Here Vau Ia Oe
Tamil - Nan unnai kathalikaraen
Telugu - Nenu ninnu premistunnanu
Thai
To female - Phom rak khun
To male - Chan rak khun
Informal - Rak te
Tunisian - Ha eh bak
Turkish - Seni Seviyorum
Ukrainian - Ya tebe kahayu
Urdu - mai aap say pyaar karta hoo
Vietnamese
To female - Anh ye^u em
To male - Em ye^u anh
Welsh - 'Rwy'n dy garu di
Yiddish - Ikh hob dikh
Yoruba - Mo ni fe
Zazi - Ezhele hezdege
Zuni - Tom ho' ichema


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Indian MP'S





Have a look at this 
  
Salary & Govt. Concessions for a Member of Parliament (MP) 

 

Monthly Salary 12,000 

Expense for Constitution per month 
: 10,000 

Office expenditure per month 
: 14,000 

Traveling concession (Rs. 8 per km) 
48,000 ( eg.For a visit from kerala to Delhi & return: 6000 km) 

Daily DA TA during parliament meets 
: 500/day 


Charge for 1 class (A/C) in train 
Free (For any number of times) 
(All over India )


Charge for Business Class in flights 
: Free for 40 trips / year (With wife or P.A.)


Rent for MP hostel at Delhi 
Free


Electricity
 costs at home Free up to 50,000 units


Local phone call charge 
: Free up to 1 ,70,000 calls.


TOTAL expense for a MP [having no qualification]per year : 32,00,000 [i.e . 2.66 lakh/month]


TOTAL expense for 5 years 
: 1,60,00,000 

For 534 MPs, the expense for 5 years : 

8,54,40,00,000 (nearly 855 crores) 


This is how all our tax money is been swallowed and price hike on our regular commodities.......

And this is the present condition of our country:


855 crores could make their life livable !! 
Think of the great democracy we have............. 
PLEASE FORWARD THIS MESSAGE TO ALL REAL CITIZENS OF INDIA ... 

 


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Dedication ...

** If opportunity doesn't knock at your door, you go knocking at it. **

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Oru cheriya kadha...........

Hi,

Oru cheriya kadha...........

 Mohanlal marichu. He reached heaven. mohanlal nere chithragupthante aduthu eth
i. chitragupthan aranennu ninagalkku ellavarkkum ariyam ennu vicherikkunnu.

Chithragupthan:  " Lal, ninagl orupadu kuttangal cheythittund. athinal ninagalkku orupadu shikshakal und."

angane chithragupthan ella kuttagalum parnju athinte shikhakalum.
mohanlal ellam kettu. ake dughithanayi.

Chithragupthan: "ennirunnalum ningalude oru agraham njan eppol sadichu tharam.......!!! paranjolu...".
Mohanlal: "Enik Mammottiye onnu kananam.......!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
Chithragupthan: "sari. ente koode vannooluuuuuuuu...."
.

Chithragupthanum mohanlalum nadannu nadannu oru roominte frontil ethi. Chithragupthan anuyayiyodu vathil thurankkan angnjapichu.
paricharakan vathil thurannu.

mohanlal angottu nokkiyappol kanda kazhcha Mammottiyum Bipasha Basuvum koodi dance kalikkunnatha kandathu...
!!!!!

mohanlalinu ake feelings ayi.

ennittu chithragupthanodu paranju "ethentha engane!!! mammootty daralam kuttangal cheythittund. enikku mathram ethra kooduthal........."

Chithragupthan: "Mammoottikku ulla siksha ayittilla........."
Chithragupthan: "
ethu bipasha basuvinulla punishment anu !!!!"

 


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I bet, you can't stop laugh after reading this :D

A beautiful Madam was having trouble with one of her students in 1st Grade class. Madam asked,'Boy. what is your problem?'

Boy answered, 'I'm too smart for the first-grade.My sister is in the third-grade and I'm smarter than she is! I think I should be in the 4th Grade!'

Madam had enough. She took the Boy to the principal's office. While the Boy waited in the outer office, madam explained to the principal what the situation was. The principal told Madam he would give the boy a test and if he failed to answer any of his
questions he was to go back to the first-grade and behave.She agreed.

the Boy was brought in and the conditions were explained to him and he agreed to take the test.



Principal: 'What is 3 x 3?'
Boy.: '9'.


Principal: 'What is 6 x 6?'
Boy.: '36'.


And so it went with every question the principal thought a 4th grade should know. The principal looks at Madam and tells her, 'I think Boy can go to the 4th grade.'

Madam says to the principal, 'I have some of my own questions.

Can I ask him ?' The principal and Boy both agreed.


Madam asks, 'What does a cow have four of that I have only two of'?

Boy, after a moment 'Legs.'


Madam: 'What is in your pants that you have but I do not have?'

Boy.: 'Pockets.'



Madam: What starts with a C and ends with a T, is hairy, oval,
delicious and contains thin whitish liquid?

Boy.: Coconut


Madam: What goes in hard and pink then comes out soft And sticky?

The principal's eyes open really wide and before he could stop the answer, Boy was taking charge.

Boy.: Bubblegum


Madam: What does a man do standing up, a woman does sitting down and a dog does on three legs?

The principal's eyes open really wide and before he could stop the answer...

Boy.: Shake hands



Madam: You stick your poles inside me. You tie me down to get me up. I get wet before you do.

Boy.: Tent



Madam: A finger goes in me. You fiddle with me when you're bored. The best man always has me first.

The Principal was looking restless, a bit tense and took one large Patiala Vodka peg.

Boy.: Wedding Ring


Madam: I come in many sizes. When I'm not well, I drip. When you blow me, you feel good.

Boy.: Nose



Madam: I have a stiff shaft. My tip penetrates. I come with a quiver.

Boy.: Arrow


Madam: What word starts with a 'F' and ends in 'K' that means lot of heat and excitement?

Boy.: Fire truck



Madam: What word starts with a 'F' and ends in 'K' & if u don't get it, u have to use ur hand.

Boy.: Fork



Madam: What is it that all men have one of it's longer on some men than on others, the pope doesn't use his and a man gives it to his wife after they're married?

Boy.: SURNAME.


Madam: What part of the man has no bone but has muscles, has lots of veins, like pumping, & is responsible for making love ?

Boy.: HEART.



The principal breathed a sigh of relief and said to the teacher,

'Send this Boy to
IIM AHMEDABAD,
I got the last ten questions wrong myself!'.
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Do U like JOKES?

Phone Line

A young businessman had just started his own firm. He had just rented a beautiful office and had it furnished with antiques.
He saw a man come into the outer office. Wishing to appear the hot shot, the businessman picked up the phone and started to pretend he had a big deal working. He threw huge figures around and made giant commitments.

Finally he hung up and asked the visitor, "Can I help you?"

"Yeah, I''ve come to activate your phone lines."


The Devoted Wife

A devoted wife had spent her lifetime taking care of her husband. Now he had been slipping in and out of a coma for several months, yet she stayed by his bedside every single day. When he came to his senses, he motioned for her to come near him.
As she sat by him, he said, "You know what? You have been with me all through the bad times. When I got fired, you were there to support me. When my business failed, you were there. When I got shot, you were by my side. When we lost the house, you gave me support. When my health started failing, you were still by my side. You know what?"

"What, my dear?" she asked gently.

"You're a goddamn jinx!"


Farmer and the Cow ;)

A farmer was in a bar drinking and looking all depressed.
His friend asked him why he was looking depressed and he replied, "Some things you just can't explain. This morning I was outside milking. As soon as the bucket was fill the cow kicked it down with her left foot so I tied up her left to a pole.

I began to fill up the bucket again and she kicked it down with her right foot, so I tied her right to a pole too.

As soon as I finished milkin'' her again she knocked down the bucket with her tail and I took off my belt and tied up her tail with my belt.

As I was tying up her tail, my pants dropped down, then my wife came out and ......well, trust me, some things you just can't explain!!!!


Smoking in the Rain

Smoking in the Rain


Two old ladies were waiting for a bus and one of them was smoking a cigarette. It started to rain, so the old lady reached into her purse, took out a condom, cut off the tip and slipped it over her cigarette and continued to smoke.

Her friend saw this and said, "Hey that's a good idea! But, what is that thing you put over your cigarette?"

The other old lady said, "It's a condom."

"A condom? Where do you get those?"

The lady with the cigarettetold her friend that you could purchase condoms at the pharmacy. When the two old ladies arrived downtown, the old lady with all the questions went into the pharmacy and asked the pharmacist if he sold condoms. The pharmacist said yes, but looked a little surprised that this old woman was interested in condoms, so he asked her, "What size do you want?"

The old lady thought for a minute and said, "One that will fit a Camel."


Joke of da day :)



Bad Drivers:

There's a senior citizen driving on the highway. His wife calls him on his cell phone and in a worried voice says, ''Herman, be careful! I just heard on the radio that there was a madman driving the wrong way on Route 280!''
Herman says, ''I know, but there isn't just one, there are hundreds!''
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Monkeys, Goats and Markets

So there was this village where one day a man appeared and said that he wanted to buy monkeys. He said that he would pay a hundred rupees per monkey. The villagers caught all the monkeys in the neighbourhood and sold them to him for a hundred rupees each. Soon another man appeared and said that he would pay two hundred rupees for each monkey. But there weren't any more monkeys around. They were all owned by the first man. So the villagers went to him and said that they were willing to take the monkeys back and return his money. But the monkey owner was unwilling to sel l. The villagers raised the offer price to Rs 150 per monkey, then Rs 175 and finally to Rs 199 but the man just didn't want to sell, even though he clearly didn't have any use for the monkeys. Eventually, just to see whether he would sell, they offered him Rs 200 but he still refused.


The villagers were puzzled by this. Finally, one of them figured out that there must be someone else who was going to come to the village and offer even more money for the monkeys. Convinced that this was the real explanation, they went and offered the man Rs 300 for each monkey and sure enough the man accepted. Joyous at having landed such a good deal, they quickly paid him off before he changed his mind and took possession of the monkeys. The man went away with his money and presumably lived happily ever after. The villagers waited for the next buyer. And waited. And waited. But no one ever appeared who wanted to buy a monkey.
But wait. If you think you've guessed the moral of the story, you are wrong because the story isn't over yet. This story isn't quite the same as the monkey story you may have got in one of those chain-fowarded emails. In my version, there was another village nearby. In this village a man appeared one day and offered a thousand rupees each for a goat. Now goats were valuable, but not as much as a thousand rupees so the villagers sold the goats to this man. A similar thing happened here too. A second man appeared, offered two thousand for each goat, the first man refused and eventually the villagers ended up buying the goats back for Rs 3,000 each. Here too, the two men disappeared and no one ever came and offered so much money for a goat again. But there was a difference. Goats aren't monkeys. They could be milked every day and the milk was good and healthy. In fact I've heard that Gandhiji preferred goat milk. Even the goat droppings could be used as fuel, though I'm not sure of that. When the goats eventually grew too old to be milked, the villagers could kill them for mutton. All in all, it wasn't a complete disaster.


But the monkey-owners were not so lucky. Since these weren't demat monkeys, they actually had to be kept in one's house. The monkeys ate too much, shouted and shrieked all day and sometimes bit people. Eventually, when it became clear that the monkeys were worthless, their owners abandoned them and tried to forget about their losses. And that's the moral of the story. In the stock markets today, there are good companies that are overpriced and there are worthless companies that are overpriced. If you are going to be a fool and pay absurd prices because you think that a greater fool will appear in the future, make sure you buy a goat and not a monkey.

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Wednesday, October 29, 2008

Animations








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Monday, October 27, 2008

someone

someone is thinking of you
someone cares about you
someone misses you
someone wants to talk to you
someone wants to be with you
someone hopes you aren't in trouble
someone is thankful for the support you have provided
someone wants to hold your hand
someone hopes everything turns out all right
someone wants you to be happy
someone wants you to find them
someone is celebrating your successes
someone wants to give you a gift
someone think you ARE a gift
someone hopes you are not too cold, or too hot
someone wants to hug you
someone loves you
someone wants to lavish you with small gifts
someone admires your strength
someone is thinking of you and smiling
someone wants to be your shoulder to cry on
someone wants to go out with you and have a lot of fun
someone thinks the world of you
someone wants to protect you
someone would do anything for you
someone wants to be forgiven
someone is grateful for your forgiveness
someone wants to laugh with you about old times
someone remembers you and wishes you were there
someone is praising God for you
someone needs to know that your love is unconditional
somebody values your advice
someone wants to tell you how much they care
someone wants to stay up watching old movies with you
someone wants to share their dreams with you
someone wants to hold you in their arms
someone wants YOU to hold them in your arms
someone treasures your spirit
someone wishes they could STOP time because of you
someone praises God for your friendship and love
someone can't wait to see you
someone wishes that things didn't have to change
someone loves you for who you are
someone loves the way you make them feel
someone wants to be with you
someone is hoping they can grow old with you
someone hears a song that reminds them of you
someone wants you to know they are there for you
someone is glad that you're their friend
someone wants to be your friend
someone stayed up all night thinking about you
someone is alive because of you
someone is remorseful after losing your friendship
someone is wishing that you would notice them
someone wants to get to know you better
someone believes that you are their soul mate
someone wants to be near you
someone misses your guidance and advice
someone values your guidance and advice
someone has faith in you
someone trusts you
someone needs you to send them this letter
someone needs your support
someone needs you to have faith in them
someone needs you to let them be your friend, If Accepted



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Perfect Parking


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4 THOUGHTS BY " MEN

Thought 1
When we are born, our mothers get the compliments and the flowers.
When we are married, our brides get the presents and the publicity.
When we die, our widows get the life insurance.
What do women want to be liberated from?

Thought 2
The average man's life consists of:
Twenty years of having his mother ask him where he is going, Forty years of having his wife ask the same question; and at the end, the mourners wondering too.



Thought 3
A Man was walking down a street when he heard a voice from behind, "If you take one more step, a brick will fall down on your head and kill you." The man stopped and a big brick fell right in front of him. The man was astonished.
He went on, and after a while he was going to cross the road. Once again the voice shouted, "Stop! Stand still! If you take one more step a car will run over you, and you will die." The man did as he was instructed, just as a car came careening around the corner, barely missing him.
The man asked. "Who are you?" "I am your guardian angel," the voice answered. "Oh, yeah?" the man asked "And where the hell were you when I got married?"
This is the Best !!!

Thought 4
Everyone in the wedding ceremony was watching the radiant bride as her father escorted her down the aisle to give away to the groom. They reached the altar and the waiting groom; the bride kissed her father and placed some thing in his hand. Everyone in the room was wondering what was given to the father by the bride.
The father could feel the suspense in the air and all eyes were on him to divulge the secret and say something. So he announced "Ladies and Gentlemen today is the luckiest day of my life." Then he raised his hands with what his daughter gave him and continued, "My daughter finally, finally returned my credit card to me."
The whole audience including the priest erupted in laughter .......... all except the poor Groom!!
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Thursday, October 23, 2008

Boys vs Girls(see the difference)












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Superb English

Disclaimer: Please read at your own risk. I'm not responsible if you go
mad or forget your English vocabulary or grammar after reading this.


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This is what happens daily!!!

Ayyyo….now itself I feel sleepy. But still 8 more hours left to work
Hmmm…no work today …enjoy madi
I am looking like a hero ….so let me check if any beautiful girl is around...
Ayyaaaa…..My team mate is so beautiful today and she is looking at me..hey hey…hoo hoo…jolly…
I am also looking like a hero…..

Carry on guys !!
am going to sleep
" Manager"

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Laugh Awhile..









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*SNAPS FROM TIBET*











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Wednesday, October 22, 2008

Romentic Couples













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