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Saturday, February 28, 2009

Simran















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STATE of BIHAR DRIVING LICENSE APPLIKASON PHAROM




STATE of BIHAR DRIVING LICENSE APPLIKASON PHAROM

************************************************************
NOTE: If you dont know the answers, please copy from another
applikason
phorom and submit. For further instructions, see bottom
applikason.
Please do not shoot the person at the applikason kounter. He
will give you
the lisence immediately.
Last name:
(_) Yadav
(_) Sinha
(_) Pandey
(_) Mishra
(_) do not know
First name:
(_) ramprasad
(_) Lakhan
(_) Sivaprasad
(_) Jamnaprasad
(_) Dont know
(Check appropriate box)
Age:
(_) Less than zero
(_) Zero
(_) Greater than zero
(_) Don\'t know
Sex:
____ M _____ F _____ not sure _____
not applicable
Chappal Size: ____ Left ____ Right
Occupation:
(_) Politician
(_) Doodhwala
(_) Pehelwaan
(_) House wife
(_) Un-employed
Number of children living in household: ___
Number that are yours: ___
Mother\'s Name: _______________________
Father\'s Name: _______________________
(If not sure, leave blank)
Ejjucason: 1 2 3 4 (Circle highest grade completed)
Do you bathe? (_) Yes (_) No
(_) Not applicable
If yes, how often do you bathe?
(_) Weekly
(_) Monthly
(_) Yearly
Color of teeth:
(_) Yellow
(_) Brownish-Yellow
(_) Brown
(_) Black
(_) Others - Give exact color (call nearest Asian Paints
dealer if U dont
know the color of your teeth)
How far is your home from a paved road?
(_)1 mile (_)2 miles (_)don\'t know
____________________
Your thumb imparesson
(If you are copying from another applikason pharom, please do
not copy
thumb
impression also. Please provide your own thumb impression.
PLEASE DO NOT USE FINGERS OF YOUR LEGS.
Use thumb on your left hand only. If you dont have left hand,
use your
thumb
on right hand. If you do not have right hand, use thumb on
left hand.
NOTE : IF YOU DONT HAVE BOTH HANDS, YOU CANNOT DRIVE












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WHY ARE INDIANS EASY TO IDENTIFY‏




1. Everything you eat is savored in garlic, onion and tomatoes.

2.. You try and reuse gift wrappers, gift boxes, and of course aluminum foil.

3. You are always standing next to the two largest size suitcases at the Airport.

4. You arrive one or two hours late to a party - and think it's normal.

5. You peel the stamps off letters that the Postal Service missed to stamp.

6. You recycle Wedding Gifts, Birthday Gifts and Anniversary Gifts.

7. You name your children in rhythms (example, Sita & Gita, Ram & Shyam, Kamini & Shamini..)

8. All your children have pet names, which sound nowhere,
close to their real names.

9. You take Indian snacks anywhere it says 'No Food Allowed.'

10. You talk for an hour at the front door when leaving someone's house.

11. You load up the family car with as many people as possible.

12. HIGH PRIORITY ***** You use plastic to cover anything new in your house
whether it's the remote control, VCR, carpet or new couch. *****

13. Your parents tell you not to care what your friends think, but they won't let you do certain things because of what the other 'Uncles and Aunties' will think.

14. You buy and display crockery, which is never used, as it is for special occasions, which never happen.

15. You have a vinyl tablecloth on your kitchen table.

16.. You use grocery bags to hold garbage.

17. You keep leftover food in your fridge in as many numbers of bowls as possible.

18. Your kitchen shelf is full of jars, varieties of bowls and plastic utensils (got free with purchase of other stuff)

19. You carry a stash of your own food whenever you travel
(and travel means any car ride longer than 15 minutes).

20. You own a rice cooker or a pressure cooker.

21. You fight over who pays the dinner bill.

22. You live with your parents and you are 40 years old. (And they prefer it that way).

23. You don't use measuring cups when cooking.

24. You never learnt how to stand in a queue.

25. You can only travel if there are 5 persons at least to see you off or receive you whether you are traveling by bus, train or plane.

26. If she is NOT your daughter, you always take interest in knowing whose daughter has run with whose son and feel proud to spread it at the velocity of more than the speed of light.

27. You only make long distance calls after
11p.m.

28. If you don't live at home, when your parents call, they ask if you've eaten, even if it's
midnight .

29. You call an older person you never met before Uncle or Aunty.

30. When your parents meet strangers and talk for a few minutes, you discover you're talking to a distant cousin.

31. Your parents don't realize phone connections to foreign
countries have improved in the last two decades, and still scream at the top of their lungs when making foreign calls.

32. You have bed sheets on your sofas so as to keep them
from getting dirty.

33. Its embarrassing if you're wedding has less than 600 people.

34. All your Tupperware is stained with food color.

35. You have drinking glasses made of steel.

36. You have mastered the art of bargaining in shopping.

37. You have really enjoyed reading this mail - forward it
to as many Indians as possible.

I STILL LOVE TO BE AN INDIAN





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Friday, February 27, 2009

Tiger - [Natural Beauty]

















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FAQ in Interviews






FAQ in Interviews

The following is a list of 50 frequently asked questions in the MBA qualifying interviews. The student is well advised to prepare complete and convincing answers to these questions before proceeding to the interview.

1. What are your long-range and short-range goals and objectives, when and why did you establish these goals, and how are you preparing yourself to achieve them?

2. What specific goals, other than those related to your occupation, have you established for yourself for the next 10 years?

3. What do you see yourself doing five years from now?

4. What do you really want to do in life?

5. What are your long-range career objectives?

6. How do you plan to achieve your career goals?

7. What are the most important rewards you expect in your career?

8. Which specialization would you like to take in MBA? Why?

9. Why did you choose the career for which you are preparing?

10. Which is more important to you, the money or the type of job?

11. What do you consider to be your greatest strengths and weaknesses?

12. How would you describe yourself?

13. How do you think a friend or a professor who knows you well would describe you?

14. What motivates you to put forth your greatest effort?

15. How has your education prepared you for a career?




16. What are your reading habits? Favourite book? Favourite author?

17. What qualifications do you have that make you think that you will be successful?

18. How do you determine or evaluate success?

19. What have you learned from your hobbies?

20. In what ways do you think you can make a contribution to our institute?

21. What qualities should a successful manager possess?

22. Describe the relationship that should exist between a supervisor and subordinates.

23. What two or three accomplishments have given you the most satisfaction? Why?

24. Describe your most rewarding college experience?

25. If you were the interviewer, what qualities would you look for?

26. Why did you select your college or university?

27. What led you to choose your field of major study?

28. What academic subjects did you like best? Least?

29. Do you enjoy doing independent research?

30. If you could do so, would you plan your academic study differently?

31. What changes would you make in your college or university?

32. Do you think that your grades are a good indication of your academic achievement?

33. What have you learned from participation in extracurricular activities?

34. Do you have plans for continued study?

35. In what kind of an educational environment are you most comfortable?




36. How do you work under pressure?

37. In what part-time or summer jobs have you been most interested? Why?

38. How would you describe the ideal job for you following post-graduation?

39. What are the three major characteristics that you bring to the job market?

40. What do you know about our Institute?

41. What two or three things are most important to you in your job?

42. Are you seeking employment in a company of a certain size? Why?

43. What criteria are you using to evaluate the company for which you hope to work?

44. Why did you choose _____ Institute of Management to conduct your higher education?

45. What have you done in the past year to improve yourself?

46. Why should we take you rather than another candidate?

47. Give an example of something you have done in the past that demonstrates your initiative and willingness to work?

48. Who are your role models? Why?

49. What major problem have you encountered and how did you deal with it?

50. What have you learned from your mistakes?











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Laloo Poems


Laloo Bhai bihari
Went up the pahari
To fetch a bail for court order
Laloo fell down & lost his crown
But Rabri reigned thereafter.

Laxman laxman
Yes pappa eating money
no pappa telling lies no pappa
open yr drawer ha ha ha

samata party is falling down falling down falling down
samata party is falling down falling down falling down
my fair jaitley (jaya)

Wha Wha Black Sheep
Have you pulled the wool? Yes sir, Yes sir,
Three bags full.
One for my father, One for my dame, And one for the CBI
Crying in the lane.

Little Miss Bharti,
Did a Maha-arti,
So the BJP would always hold sway.
There came a big BSP With Mayavati its USP.
And frightened Miss Bharti away.

Little Lal Advani
Sat with his TV vahini
Taking his party's rai
He stuck out his thumb,
hoping to pull out the plum,
And said, 'Can I have a slice of Vaj-pie?'

Batsman-bowler sat on the ball.
Batsman-bowler had a great fall,
All the bookies' cookies, and
All the bribers' men,
Couldn't put Indian cricket together again.

Bankers and ministers
Sold for a penny
All the swindlers are so many
The envy's green
And the CBI red's
Nail them all, and
get their head, head, head.






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Thursday, February 26, 2009

Dolphins














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THE PROPOSAL





THE PROPOSAL
A collegian was deeply in love with a pretty
girl.But he had not the courage to talk to her.
So he decided to write and with the help of
dictionary wrote a letter of proposal to her.
He wrote:
Most worthy of your estimation, after a long
consideration and much meditation, I have an
inclination to become ur relation. As for my
qualification I have passed matriculation without
any hesitation, and with very little preparation.
What do u say to the solemnization of our
marriage celebration according to the tradition
of present generation? I shall make preparation
to improve my situation and such obligation is
worthy of consideration.
Thanking u in anticipation and with devotion,
I remain a victim of ur fascination.
The girl's reply:
Dear Mr.Victim of my fascination, congratulations
for ur lengthy narration which is full of
affection but aimed at an affliction for the
combination, which on examination I find a fine
presentation of ur ambition. u have passed
matriculation with little preparation. What
about my graduation after a long botheration.
So improve ur situation in the field of education
and make an application, for entrance to
post-graduation.The minimum qualification for
the consideration of marriage vocation,
will be good education.






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Life after death:


After Death....
A woman was worried whether or not her dead husband made
it to
heaven, so she decided to try to contact his spirit by
having a
seance.

Sure enough, after the usual mumbo-jumbo of calling to
the spirits,
her husband's voice was heard answering, "Hello
Margaret, this is
meeee..."


"Fred," she answered. I just have to know if you're
happy there in
the afterlife. What's it like there?"

"Ooooooh, it's much more beautiful here than I ever
imagined," Fred
answered. "The sky is bluer, the air is cleaner, and the
pastures
are much more lush and green than I ever expected. And
the only
thing we do, all day long, are eat and sleep, eat and
sleep, over
and over."

"Thank God, you made it to heaven," his wife cried.
"Heaven?" he answered. "What heaven? I'm a buffalo in
Montana."








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Wednesday, February 25, 2009

Parvathy Omanakuttan wallpapers





















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GIRLS ARE COMPLEX CREATURES


GIRLS ARE COMPLEX CREATURES
===========================
If you kiss her, you are not a gentleman
If you don't, you are not a man
If you praise her, she thinks you are lying
If you don't, you are good for nothing
If you agree to all her likes, you are a wimp
If you don't, you are not understanding
If you visit her often, she thinks it is boring
If you don't, she accuses you of double-crossing
If you are well dressed, she says you are a play!
boy
If you don't, you are a dull boy
If you are jealous, she says it's bad
If you don't, she thinks you do not love her
If you attempt a romance, she says you didn't respect her
!
If you don't, she thinks you do not like her
If you are a minute late, she complains it's hard to wait
If she is late, she says that's a girl's way
If you visit another man, you're not putting in "quality time"
If she is visited by another woman, "oh it's natural, we are girls"
If you kiss her once in a while, she professes you are cold
If you kiss her often, she yells that you are taking advantage
If you fail to help her in crossing the street, you lack ethics
If you do, she thinks it's just one of men's tactics for seduction
If you stare at another woman, she accuses you of flirting
If she is stared by other men, she says that they are just admiring
If you talk, she wants you to listen
If you liste!
n, she wants you to talk

In short:
So simple, yet so complex
So weak, yet so powerful
So confusing, yet so desirable
So damning, yet so wonderful.....
Can’t live with them..
Can’t live without them...








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The Population Of India Is 100 Crocres

The population of India is 100 crores. Right?


But did you know that....19 crores are retired,
which leaves 81 crores to do the work.
There are 25 crores in school,
which leaves 56 crores to do the work.
Out of this there are 22 crores employed by the
Central Government,
leaving 34 crores to do the work. (as you know
government employees
do not believe in working)
4 crores are in the Armed Forces,
which leaves 30 crores to do the work.
Take from the total the 20 crores of people who
work for State
Governments
and that leaves 10 crores to do the work.
(They too do not work..)
Total unemployed are 8 crores,
that leaves 2 crores to do the work.
At any given time there are 1.2 crore people in
hospitals, leaving 80,00,000 to do the work.
Now, there are 79,99,998 people in prisons. That
leaves just two
people to do the work.........You and me !!!.

And you're currently sitting at your computer
reading mail.
So I am the only person in our country who is
working!!!!!!

And that's why India is surviving !!! Now close
your mail and
start working because I want to rest.






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Tuesday, February 24, 2009

Riddles



1. A murderer is condemned to death. He has to choose between
three
rooms. The first is full of raging fires, the second is full
of
assassins with loaded guns, and the third is full of lions
that
haven't eaten in 3 years. Which room is safest for him?

2. A woman shoots her husband. Then she holds him under water
for
over 5 minutes. Finally, she hangs him. But 5 minutes later
they both go
out together and enjoy a wonderful dinner together. How can
this be?

3. There are two plastic jugs filled with water. How could you
put
all of this water into a barrel, without using the jugs or any
dividers, and still tell which water came from which jug?

4. What is black when you buy it, red when you use it, and
gray
when you throw it away?

5. Can you name three consecutive days without using the words
Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, or
Sunday?

6. This is an unusual paragraph.
I'm curious how quickly you can find out what is so unusual
about it? It looks so plain you would think nothing was wrong
with
it! In fact, nothing is wrong with it! It is unusual though.
Study it,
and think about it, but you still may not find anything odd.
But if
you work at it a bit, you might find out! Try to do so without
any
coaching!

Answers------------
V
V
V
V
V
V
V
V
V
V
V
V
V
V
V
V
V
V
V
V
V
V
V
V
V
V
V
V
V
V
V
V
V
V
V
V
V
Answers...
1. The third. Lions that haven't eaten in three years are
dead.

2. The woman was a photographer. She shot a picture of her
husband,
developed it, and hung it up to dry.

3. Freeze them first. Take them out of the jugs and put the
ice in the
barrel. You will be able to tell which water came from which
jug.

4. The answer is Charcoal. In Homer Simpson's words: hmmmm...
Barbecue.

5. Sure you can: Yesterday, Today, and Tomorrow!

6. The letter "e", which is the most common letter in the
English
language, does not appear once in the long paragraph.













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Sidhu's Comments


For the indians now it's 'fightback' or 'flightback'


Umpires are like traffic police -the techniques they
use to give a
decision are outdated


His footwork is like a car in a traffic jam


The ball missed the bat like a kiss in a hindi movie -
the hero and
heroine come so close for a kiss but dont kiss after all !!


Will Ganguly's men eat a humble pie or eat cake with
Murali on top?


Getting run out without having made any runs is like
dying before
death


Sachin's feet are definitely on ground but at the
present moment they
are grounded.


Harbhajan's spins are like introducing some atoms of
pulvarised
tobacco into nostrills of the batsmen who gets out of
sneezing.


Mr. Saurav Ganguly is too open-minded. If you leave a
soda bottle
open the gas will vanish! You have to close it at times.


The Indian cricketers are very volatile like the Bombay
Stock
Exchange (BSE). You never know how they perform on a given
day!


The Indian team's fortunes have been swinging like a
rubber ball in a
tidal wave


When a fast bowler with a very big physique comes on to
ball but has
a very slow pace: he is like a fighterplane with the speed of
an
autorickshaw


Srilankan's are lions, but sachin is a ring master.


Murli spins the ball so much,next to it, a cork screw
looks
straight!!!!!


Ganguly is the only person who shakes your hands first
and your
confidence later.


This bowler bowls so slow that the batsmen have enough
time to call
home and talk to their wives between every delivery......
(Sidhu could say
this for Prasad)


The performance of the Indian Cricket team is as
erratic as
electricity supply in most Indian cities.


CRICKET IS THE GAME OF GLORIOUS UNCERTAINITIES!
GLORIOUS-WHEN
SRILANKANS PLAY, UNCERTAIN-WHEN INDIA PLAY
'Siddhuism's ' they have been named !!
check them out!
a.. A girl born beautiful is halfm arried
b.. The Indians need to behave as if they are in a boat with a
hole. There
is no team co- operation
c.. His slower ball was so slow that my mama can run faster
than that
d.. The world is all about mind and matter, i don't mind and u
don't
matter....
e.. In London they drive on the left, in India we drive on
what is left!
f.. Still waters run deep. The Indians were so still in the
3rd test that
they ran into deep oceans
g.. Ganguly moves so slowly on the field like jack of jack n
jill who goes
to fetch pail of runs for the opposition...

h.. Umpires are like traffic police -the techniques they use
to give a
decision are outdated
i.. Flip the coin and there is no head or tail.(India plays
the cricket
without any aim)
j.. Harbhajan could be a windmill with a single blade during a
hurricane,
whenb atting
k.. Strutting around wicket as proud as peacock
l.. A barking dog better than a sleeping Lion So go on Indians
,Bark aloud
and let everyone hear youl ouder!!!
m.. The dog that barks last, barks best
n.. SUCCESS HAS MANY FATHERS .... FAILURE IS AN ORPHAN!!!!!
o.. S. Ramesh running between thew ickets is like a snail
going slow!
p.. He is like an indian transistor which does not work until
you give it
two slaps.
q.. If u r trying to beat india in their home you are you
trying to get milk
out of an ox.
r.. Indian team is just like indian monsoon.you just cant
predict when there
will be flood & when drought.
s. You don't have to murder a person, who wants to commits
uicide.
t. Kumble is like a one legged man in bum kicking competition.







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Hilary Duff - Candids at the Pool in Bahamas














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