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Thursday, February 11, 2010

Sardar - Back On Demand







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A sardar on an interview for the post of detective was asked a question -

Interviewer - Who killed Gandhiji ?

Sardar- Thanks for giving me the job, I will investigate.


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Sardarji, tell me ...., what is the meaning of SMS ?

Sardar angrily said, i know -

it means....

S - Sardaron ke

M - Mazak udane ki

S - Service


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Shopkeeper: "ISke Saath koi gift nahin hai bhaisaab"

Sard : "Oye ispe likha hai CHOLESTROL FREE!!"

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ONE FINE DAY A GIRL PROPOSED TO A SARDAR AND SARDAR DENIED
SIMPLY SAYING THAT IN OUR FAMILY,

WE MARRY ONLY OUR RELATIVES..

MY MOM MARRIED MY DAD,

MY BROTHER MARRIED MY BHABHI ,

MY UNCLE MARRIED MY AUNT AND SO ON.
SO PLEASE EXCUSE ME !!!!!

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Sardarjee to Sunita: "I want to marry you"
Sunita: "But I am one year elder than you."
Sardarjee: "No Problem, then I will marry you next year."

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Two Sardars went into a pub and after ordering two
drinks took some sandwiches out of their pockets and started to eat them.
"You can't eat your own sandwiches in here," complained the pub-owner.
So the two sardars exchanged their sandwiches.

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Once a Sardarji was going to his office.
On the way he slipped on a banana peel and was badly hurt.
Next day , he noticed two banana peels and
exclaimed" ari , aaj to choice hai"!!!!!!

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American says "US mein shaadi E-mail se hoti hai.."
Sardarji " India mein to.. shaadi Fe-mail se hi hoti
hai...!!!"

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Dr Chopra psychotherapist wanted 'Sign board' to be
pained in front of his clinic but our Sardar painter
painted "Dr Chorpa Psycho The Rapist"

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What is the difference between WATCH & WIFE .........

Ek bigadti hai to bandh ho jati hai......

Doosari bigadati hai to "SHUROO' ho jati hai

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Doctor to Sardaar : App ka aur aapki biwi ka blood group ek hi hai?

Sardaar : Hoga, Jarur hoga; 25 saal sey mera khoon jo pee rahi hai....

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A two seater plane crashed in a graveyard ........

Local sardars have so far found 500 bodies and are still..... digging for more.

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Sardar found answer to most difficult question ever

What comes first - the chicken or the egg ?

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A sardar invested 2 Lakhs in a business and Suffered
huge Loss.
Do u know what the business was?
. . . .. . . . . . . . He opened a Saloon in Punjab!.

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A sardharji photographer focusing a dead body's face
in a funeral > function, suddenly all relatives beat
him why?
He said "SMILE PLEASE"

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Srdr gets ready ,wears tie, coat ,goes out, climbs
tree, sits on the
branch regularly. A man asks why he does this.
Srdr:"I've been promoted as branch manager."

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Sardarji standing below a tube light with a open
mouth.................
WHY?

because his doctor advised him "Todays dinner should
be light".

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SARDAR & FAMILY GO 2 A PARTY. HE INTRODUCES HIMSELF
I SARDAR,SHE SARDARNEE, THE BOY MY KID & THE GIRL MY
KIDNEY....

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One sardarji professor asked a plumber to come to
his college.

U knw Why?

Because he wanted to check where the question paper is
leaking...

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Sardar told his servant: Go and water the plants.
Servant: It's already raining.
Sardar: So what take an umbrella and go.

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Sardar comes back 2 his car & finds a note saying "Parking Fine"

He writes a note and sticks it 2 pole "Thanks 4 d complement"

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How do you recognize a Sardar in School?

He is the one who erases the notes from the book when the teacher erases the board.

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once a Sardhar was walking and had a glove on one hand and not on other so the man asked him why did he do so. He Replied that the weather forecast announced that on one hand it would be cold and on the other hand it would be hot.

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Sardarji praising his son who is a Civil engineer, who just laid a road near his house. "Wow! This is terrific! Look at the job he has done! The distance from my house to the railway station is the same as the railway station to my house!!!!!!!!"

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Sardarji zebra crossing ke black & white patte par bar bar idhar-udhar chalte the, woh kya rahe honge....think............. 

"SALA YE PIANO BAJTA KYO NAHI"

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What is the chemical formula 4 water? Sardar: HIJKLMNO.

Teacher: what r u talking about?

Sardar: Yesterday u said H to O.

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Sardarji is trying to commit suicide on the railway tracks and he takes along some wine and chicken with him. Somebody stops him and asks "kyon bhai, ye sab kyon leke baithe ho?" (Why do you take these things with you?). Sardarji replies "Saali train late aati hai kahin bhook se na marjaun" (If the stupid train comes late, I will die of hunger!

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Sardar ji Aapko logo ne kyun mara ? Sardar " yaar Meri Photo Bas main Gir Gayi To Maine Madam Se Kaha Zara Sadi Upar Karo Photo Lena Hai"

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Ek sardar Indian Flag lene shop mein gaya tha. Shopwale ne usse flag diya. Sardar bola: Isme aur colour dikhao!!!

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Ek american ek sardar se kaha hamare yahan saadi e-mail se bhi hoti hai isper sardar bola kamal hai hamare yahan to sirf female se hoti hai

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A Sardar went 2 hotel, ordered chiken, Waiter comes with the order,Surdar:Murgey di taang kithe hai? Waiter:Woh langra tha. 

Surdar: Dil? Waiter:Dil murgi le gayee. Surdar: Dimaag? Waiter: MurgaSARDAR tha

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SARDAR:: Beta ye kaisi machis lay kar aaye ho ek bhi nahi jal rahi
SON :: kya baat kartay ho pappa sub check kar kay laya hoooon

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This sardarji goes to see Jurassic Park and when the Dinosaurs start
approaching, he was hiding under his seat when his friend asks him ;kyon
sardarji, kya baat hai? Dar kyon lag raha hai cinema hi to hai.; Sardarji
replies ;Aadmi hoon aur akkal hai, pata hai ki cinema hai, lekin voh to
janwar hai, usko kya pata"

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Sardar ji is buying a TV
"Do you have color TVs?"
"Sure."
"Give me a green one, please."

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Sardar ji is filling up a job application
He promptly fills in the lines on NAME, AGE, ADDRESS, etc.
Then came the column SALARY EXPECTED
After much thought he writes: Yes

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What does Sardarji do after taking photocopies?
He compares it with the original for spelling mistakes.

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What does Sardarji do when he has one white sheet and wants an extra
sheet?
He makes a photocopy of the white sheet.

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What do you do when a Sardar throws a hand grenade at you? Pull the pin and throw it back.

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How do you make a Sardar laugh on Saturday? Tell him a joke on Wednesday.

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One day evening a Sardarji starts from office to home with pushing his scooter manually. He met his friend on the way... 

Friend: why are you pushing your scooter manually? Sardarji: 'I forgot to bring the scooter key from my home. Friend: 'Is it! 

Then, How did you come to office from home in the morning?' Sardarji: 'I was pushing my scooter from home to office also in the morning.

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How Does a Sardar Cheat the Railways?? He buys the ticket but doesn't travel !!!!!!!!

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BEPPO SINGH QUEUING BEHIND HIS FRIEND AT AN ATM MACHINE. Friend: What are you looking at? Beppo Singh: I know your PIN no., hee, hee. Friend: Alright, what is my PIN no. if you saw it? Beppo Singh: four asterisks!

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Sardar sent a SMS to his pregnant wife. Two seconds later a report came to his phone and he started dancing. The report said, "DELIVERED".

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Two Sardarjis, both student of I.I.T, Kanpur, were talking about the American Astronauts.

One said to the other, "What's the big deal about going to the moon-anybody can go to the moon. We are sardars we will go direct to the sun."

"But if we get within 13 million miles from the sun, we'll melt."

And the first answered, "So what, we'll go at night."


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One Sardar read a board "likhney wala briliant.....parhney wala idiot.."Sardar becomes engry, he rub the board and writes, "parhney wala briliant, likhney wala idiot...."

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Sardarji goes to a hotel and eats heartily. After eating he goes to wash his hands but starts washing the basin instead. The manager comes running and asks him, "Prahji, aap kya kar rahe ho?" To this the man replies, "Oye, tumne hi to idhar board lagaya hai "Wash Basin".

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What did the Sardar say when she saw the sign in front of the YMCA?
"Look! They spelled MACY'S wrong!"

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What do you call an eternity?
Four Sardars in four cars at a four way stop.

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Why do Sardars have TGIF written on their shoes?
Toes Go In First.

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What do SMART Sardars and UFO's have in common?
You always hear about them but never see them.

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Why did the Sardars stare at the can of frozen orange juice?
Because it said concentrate.
Oh look, Daddy...Donut seeds.

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Why do Sardars always smile during lightning storms?
They think their picture is being taken.

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How can you tell when a Sardars sends you a fax?
It has a stamp on it.

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Why can't Sardars dial 911?
They can't find the 11 on the phone!


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Farmers of the World



Madhumitha




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